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Alright so i've started some questionable threads before and i'm pretty embarrassed to start this one but I could use some advice.

I have a good friend and for this we will call her "Jane" and myself as "Ace Coder".

Jane and I have been friends for about 3 years now and shes very attractive, we haven't been much more than friends before.
Late last year (Sept. 2009) she had a nasty breakup with an ***-Hole, and now she is scared to get involveds in another relationship.
Jan 3 she said:

This conversation went right where you would think and she ended up confessing that she really likes me. She says that both times (I know) I asked her out and she said no, she felt really bad because she had said no in fear of her last relationship. We continued talking till around 4 am.

Then today at school, when I first finally see her in person, she says:

Then hurries off to her ride.

Her parents are crazy nazis, lol.
Her dad pulled a gun on her ex, before he had done anything.

I think that shes just scared, and regrets confessing her feelings.
What does everyone else think?
Why would she have hid from her parents till 4 am one night, 3 am another and midnight another if she never felt anything?
She is supposed to be in bed by 10pm.


Anyways, I feel pretty pathetic having to come to a forum of programmers, but you guys are very friendly and helpful, and haven't ever steered me wrong.

Note: I say "guys" as slang even though I know there are females on this forum as well. I would like a woman's take on this as well.

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If you have these feelings fer her and she is your 'friend' you need to make it clear to her that these feelings you have are here to stay and that they will not miraculously dissapear. Tell her that it is too dificult to be just friends (trust me, it is, been there, done that, wasted a lot of my life agonising over a 'friend') and you can't stand seeing her everyday whilst not being allowed to express your feelings for her properly. If she says she's still not interested, she never will be and she'll just string you along (knowingly or not) and then it's time to go and find somebody else to be infatuated with, you are afterall young

that's my 2 pennies anyway.

Confirmed. 100/100!

That's not entirely true though. If she's afraid to get into another relationship because of a past relationship, that could be more than enough to make her not want to get into one.

My girlfriend just came out of a relationship 5 months before I asked her out. It tore her apart and he **** her over pretty badly. She was terrified to get into another relationship. She kept telling me no and wouldn't go out with me because she was simply to afraid that I'd do the same. I stayed with her as much as possible and tried to show and prove to her that I'm not that kind of guy and that I'd never do anything to hurt her in any way.

Look at us now. We're having a child together and we're happily engaged.

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www.AutoHotkey.net/~Eedis
I love my wife and daughter so much.

I agree with Eedis. Sick around and show her what a good guy you are.

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Wingfool you fat! I mean, Wingfat you fool!
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uh.. pic related

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Give up on her......"I think if it was going to happen for you......it would have happened by now." You're a great guy....3 years is far longer than it should take to notice. Those movies you see where old friends fall in love and live happily ever after, disregard them.

Girls love assholes.....Jane will find another one soon and then come crying to you about how she can't find a good guy and you'll be there to hold her ever so gently and stroke her ego.

In the future make your intentions known from the get go. If she's interested, great! If not, there are other fish in the sea.....carry on.

Women don't make good friends A) because they are interested in lame stuff (the ones that are interested in cool stuff tend to be super competitive to the point of being obnoxious) b) because of jealousy issues (their bf, your gf, etc) c) they generally expect to be treated special by their guy friends (this isn't friendship, this is desire for attention/coddling/emotional support they aren't getting from their current asshole).......I could continue if you'd like.

It sounds like you're fairly young so it can be forgiven. Save yourself a lot of pain and heartache and take this advice to heart.

Go chase after some of those young girls....they don't get better with age. Maybe when you've proven that you're in demand, Jane will notice......but really, do it for you, not her. Something actually happening for you (with Jane) at this point is so far outside the realm of possibility that it is a waste of time to even think about it.

Funny thing is, when I was a younger man, I chased after a girl named Jane for quite a while there.

I'm not saying be an asshole. ALWAYS be respectful to everyone around you, but a vagina does not make one worthy of any more attention and coddling than anyone else in your life.

Women like assertiveness....that's why they are attracted to assholes. They aren't attracted to guys that are there to hold them and make them feel better about themselves. They'll make every excuse in the book as to why they can't won't date you. "We're such good friends, I don't want to ruin that." "I'm hurting from my last relationship." "I don't have the time."

Hope this helps. I feel for you.......and I know you'll probably think I'm an asshole for thinking like this, but one day you'll have a lightbulb moment (hopefully) and realize most of this.

Learn it now, take it to heart, embrace it. Watch the fog clear in front of you.

Edit:

You sound like an intelligent fellow. Find a girl that knows the difference between your and you're........and that "you're different" line is so cliche that I nearly pissed myself laughing when I read it.

You're a good guy. F'ing act like it.

My advice:

When it comes to women, listen to less Beetles, more Rolling Stones.

First comes love, then comes.......oops.

Hmhmhm... Have you ever read John Gray's "Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus"?
He has the answer why women do this or that. But I think it's not available in digital copy yet

Well... Where is Ace Coder now?

So you was busy on this issue... =)

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The quick onyx goblin jumps over the lazy dwarf

Lolz. First comes love, then comes birth control being a bitch. XD But I'm quite glad she got pregnant. It has brought us so much closer and realized that we're perfect for each other.

As to your advice that you have given. I disagree with most/all of it.

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www.AutoHotkey.net/~Eedis
I love my wife and daughter so much.